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remorse has incredible power
💜Let’s talk about remorse. 💜
👀Funny word, isn’t it? 👀
❗️But an important one. ❗️
💞It goes – or I should rather say it should go – hand in hand with an apology. 💞
❤️Remorse means I am sorry for what I have done or what I should have done but failed to do. 💔It requires us to put ourselves into the other person’s perspective. 💗See things from their point of view. 💙To do our best to understand how they feel – how we made them feel. 💘
💕Empathize with them. Acknowledge that we – hopefully unwantedly – hurt them. 💔
☑️No, I did not forget that I also talked a lot about everyone’s being responsible for their own feelings.
💛Still, we can – we should – apologize when we accidentally hurt someone. 💛
🎶I have long wondered about how to reconcile these two seemingly contradictory approaches. 🎶
⁉️I believe the key is humility. Another painful word, I know. ❕
🔎Because when we apologize and show genuine remorse, we humbly acknowledge we did something hurtful. 👑We are lowering ourselves from a pedestal of “I am right” to see and value the differences and incompleteness of others – and of ourselves. 🔍
♥️Remorse means that even if we cannot understand why our actions were hurtful, we take responsibility for them and seek reconciliation. ♥️And it is for the other party to accept it or not. We did our part – if it was genuine. ✔️
❔And why is that important? ❔
⛔️Because a mere “I’m sorry” without remorse is just a string of shallow words. ⛔️
🌒”I’m sorry” without changed behaviour is just a superficial coating on the picture we wish to paint about ourselves to the world. 🌑
💜A true “I’m sorry” carries the power to bring us closer. 💜
self-care is not egoism
Self-care is not egoism, even if it seems to be. ⁉️
Self-care is a balance between egoism and altruism. 🌞
From an altruist’s point of view, however, both fall into the same category.
❓Why?
Because for an altruist, self-care means not always caring for others. And this is true. What altruists probably do not realize is that not looking after themselves means trading long-term services to others for short-term ones.
‼️We cannot give from what we do not have. Therefore, caring for ourselves – while looking after others, perhaps a little less – is not egoism. It is the way that allows us to serve others for longer, in better physical, emotional, and mental health.
So, focusing on others a little less enables us to focus on them for longer. Therefore,
our self-care means short-term pain and long-term gain for those we serve. 🌞
😥Painful thought? I think it is. It was painful for me too.
I fought it for a long time. But eventually, I had to give in to the logic of self-care.
😱 Does self-care sound scary? Selfish? Disgusting? Does it feel like you’re going against your value of “serving only others until your last breath”?
I have a question for you.
❓Can you serve more if that last breath comes later in life?
Would you consider that thought?
🤗Let’s discuss it and find your way to your own personalized self-care plan!