“What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me Don’t hurt me no more” (some of you might remember the song from the 1990s).

So, what IS love?

Well, let’s make a firm line in the sand – what it is not.

Love IS NOT a feeling. Yes, when we are “in love” we do have some physical symptoms. Physical. Physiological. Symptoms.

Love IS NOT the lack of healthy boundaries. We can love someone and still be able to say no.

Love IS NOT saying YES all the time. But what prevents us from when saying NO would be the best choice at that time?

Whose interest do we put first? And do we do it voluntarily or do we feel coerced into saying yes – even when we indeed want to say no. We just simply can’t.

Love IS NOT allowing the person who has been exploiting us continue to do so because we feel unable to put up some boundaries in the situation. This is the very opposite to love. It is not loving them, it is self-loathing – ourselves.